Archive | March, 2014

“Wheels of a Dream” – Ragtime

15 Mar

Before I found out I was pregnant, my car ended up dying on me so Brett and I were on the hunt for a new car with more space. Traveling with two car seats and all of the accessories that come along with having twins can make a car very claustrophobic (especially in our Prius). We started looking at smaller SUVs that had five seats and pretty much narrowed down our choices to the point where we were going to make a final decision by New Year’s Eve at the latest. Now with the news that we would be adding an additional car seat and newborn accessories into the car, we had to scrap our plans for a small SUV and start looking at cars with three rows of seats!

Most of the cars we looked at that had the third row, lacked any adequate trunk space which was a must for the two strollers we would be storing. Not to mention, all of the cars really did not have an easy way of getting in and out of that third row. Since the second row of seats could not fold down due to the car seats, the only option was to put one kid in through the trunk to get them to the third row. No thank you! Brett and I came to the realization that we would have to consider the mini-van. Personally, I did not really care what I drove, just as long as it was practical and affordable. Brett on the other hand, shuddered at the thought of owning a mini-van so soon in his lifetime. I knew that if we had to get a mini-van, we needed to get one that had some nice features to help convince Brett that it wasn’t all that bad.

The Honda Odyssey ended up being the car we chose and all of a sudden we became a family with a mini-van. Things were happening so quickly with finding out we were already more than 3 months pregnant and then all of sudden we were driving the ultimate mom-mobile. With this news, Brett and I knew that we would need to make a lot of changes to be able to fit this new baby into our lifestyle. The next step of course was to figure out how this baby would be fitting into our housing situation. We have been living in a 2 bedroom apartment for over 6 years and it was getting a little cramped with the twins but it met all of our needs and allowed us to be able to wait to buy a home until the time was right. Now we were then having to consider our home purchase to be sped up tremendously or else this new baby was going to be sleeping in the dining room. Considering that the timing was not the best in the market since it is most favorable for the seller, we had to also consider just renting a little longer but at least upgrading to an actual house as opposed to an apartment. So many choices to be made, in so little time.

It’s interesting because when I was in the hospital during my first pregnancy, my mantra was “we plan, God laughs” due to the abruptness of being kidnapped from my life. Now the mantra repeating in my head is “God only gives you what you can handle.” I am not an overly religious person but I do believe in God and I trust that what was happening to me and my family was always part of God’s plan. After all, regardless of all the change and craziness we are about to endure, this baby will be a complete blessing. To think that I was not even considering having any more children since it was not certain my body could even get pregnant again, and now I was not only pregnant but so far having a normal gestation with no complications! My thoughts about having more children were so wrapped up with fear after enduring the four months of bed rest and true fear that came with living through a high risk pregnancy. Assuming I would be doing the whole fertility treatment game for years, be back in the hospital if I got pregnant again, not being able to see Ella and Ethan, etc. made me think that it was okay if we stayed a two kid household. I already felt so lucky to have Ella and Ethan so why push it? Luckily, God made the decision for us and fate has brought us this new addition in the most perfect of circumstances. No fertility treatments, no bed rest, and a chance to actually enjoy pregnancy and get to do all of things I missed out on the first time. Maybe God knew that one complicated pregnancy was all I could handle and I was given a free pass this time. Who knows…but in the end, regardless of the new car and the new house which is just pointless stuff, we are blessed with bringing a new baby into this world and having the love of our family grow stronger. We can definitely handle that!

*The song “Wheels of a Dream” is from the 1998 Broadway musical Ragtime which is based on the classic E.L. Doctorow novel of the same name. In the show, the characters Coalhouse and Sarah sing about the dreams and endless possibilities they have for their new baby boy. This story takes place in the early 20th century where owning a car was considered a huge luxury. Coalhouse is very proud because he just bought a car and in the song, he and Sarah sing about being able to drive their son all over the country and build a new life together. Ironically, when I went to pick up my new Honda Odyssey for the first time, I turned on the Broadway satellite radio channel and this song started to play. As I drove away with this song playing, I could not help but think about what getting this car meant and how it was the first step in truly preparing for this new baby to join our lives. What a dream come true indeed!

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Starting a new “odyssey” as a family of 5

“Miracle of Miracles” – Fiddler on the Roof

1 Mar

I have decided to resume by blog and take a break from writing my book to share some extremely surprising news…

I’M PREGNANT!

This news came as a complete shock to me and my husband since I have been told by numerous doctors that it is medically impossible for me to get pregnant naturally without the use of heavy duty fertility drugs and treatments. I spent two years and thousands of dollars to get pregnant the first time with Ella & Ethan due to having PCOS and a defective pituitary gland. Because of my medical condition, I don’t get my period at all because it was determined that my pituitary gland does not produce the hormones necessary to ovulate. Regardless of these factors, by some miracle a single egg happened to make it’s way out and prove all of the doctors wrong.

What’s even crazier is the fact that I had no clue what was going on in my body until 13 weeks into the pregnancy and a psychic was the one to break the news! Let me take you back to the last Friday the 13th we had in December. I woke up that morning bright and early to take a home pregnancy test to prove a psychic wrong…HA! Two days earlier on the 11th, I went to my psychic reading which was an early birthday present from my husband. I had given Brett the same birthday present a couple of months earlier and she seemed legit so I wanted to go for myself to hopefully speak to my deceased parents. I sit down at the reading and the first thing she asks me is “are you pregnant?” and I say no. She keeps pressing me and I finally give up the information of my medical condition and how me getting pregnant without a barrage of drugs would be impossible. She then switched gears and said that I must have a close friend or relative that was pregnant because this vibe was too strong to not be right. I said it could be possible that someone close to me was pregnant and I didn’t know it yet. The reading continued but throughout the time we spent together, she kept bringing up the fact that there was a pregnancy. I left the reading with what she said ringing in my ears. At first I was trying to figure out who could possibly be pregnant in my circle of friends and family and then I started to wonder if by some miracle, it was in fact me.

The home pregnancy test I took two days later comes out positive but I did not fully trust the results due to my prior fertility struggles. Could my hormonal imbalance from the PCOS be skewing the test? I went to see my fertility doctor later that morning to get an official blood test and she was very surprised to see me in her office for this reason after all of the history we have together. A few hours later I got the highly anticipated phone call from her that there is no doubt that I am pregnant and I that I need to come in for an ultrasound immediately. I am in complete shock as I jump into my car to go back to her office. While I was driving there I couldn’t stop thinking about the lack of pregnancy symptoms I had and thought that it must be really early on. No morning sickness at all…but then again, I luckily never had that symptom the first time around. The ultrasound starts and my doctor could not believe how far along I am. She took a bunch of measurements and estimated that I was 13 weeks pregnant! I completely went through the entire 1st trimester without even knowing it and feel like I can now be featured on the show “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.” I am in disbelief as I see this fully formed fetus on the screen with a strong heartbeat yelling “SURPRISE!” from my uterus. How did this happen? My stomach was completely flat, I had no symptoms at all, and now in 6 months I was going to become a mother of 3?!?!

The next plan of action was to call my miracle worker OBGYN, Dr. Tabsh who got me through my first pregnancy. Since I was already in my 2nd trimester, the worry started to set in about having to be on bed rest again and if my cervix would start to shorten prematurely. Of course, this was all happening when I was about to get on a plane to vacation in Hawaii with my family. Last time I planned a big trip during my pregnancy, I ended up getting admitted into the hospital for 4 months so my track record was not the best. I was able to get an appointment that night at 11pm so that he could check my cervix and hopefully give me some good news. He was very surprised to see me and husband back in his office after all we had gone through the first time. He did an extensive ultrasound and found everything to be perfectly normal! He even said “have fun on your trip” which was like music to my ears. Dr. Tabsh explained that I will be closely monitored but every pregnancy is different and maybe now that I am only carrying one baby, my cervix won’t be as temperamental as it was before. I never thought that my body would be able to have a normal pregnancy that didn’t involve bed rest. I am not getting my hopes up since anything could happen from now until June. Plus, once you go though a high risk pregnancy that leaves to hospitalized, you are bound to have some post traumatic stress which causes you to keep your expectations in check.

Regardless of what may happen with this pregnancy, this baby is another miracle that we were meant to have in our lives. Brett and I were not sure if we were going to have anymore kids because of the fertility and pregnancy issues I experienced the first time. Now that decision has been made by a higher power and we are slowly getting used to the fact that Ella and Ethan are going to be a big sister and big brother by June 2014. L’Chaim!

*The song “Miracle of Miracles” is from the 1964 Broadway musical Fiddler on the Roof¬†which ran on Broadway for almost 10 years. This joyous song comes at a part of the show where Motel has found out that he has Tevye’s blessing to marry Tzeitel. This is considered a miracle to Motel since Tzeitel would have otherwise had a traditional arranged marriage with a man she did not love. This new pregnancy is truly a miracle because I never in my wildest dreams thought that my body was able to have a baby naturally since my “tradition” has been the exact opposite. I felt like I got my fill of miracles the first time around when Ella and Ethan were born full term and healthy after the tremendous journey we were on. We are extremely grateful that we have been blessed with another angel in our lives and cannot wait to meet he or she very soon!

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Here we go again

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Had no clue this cute baby was living inside me!

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Finally starting to show