“Part of Your World” – The Little Mermaid

12 Jan

With the majority of my freedom and independence taken away, I have really started to appreciate what I was able to do before being admitted to the hospital. Some things that have been taken off of my plate are a nice break (driving, cooking, cleaning, etc), while others, I think about constantly and can’t wait to have my normal life back. For instance, I severely miss the simple act of going outside and getting fresh air, among many other small joys. My rules here on bed rest are this: I must stay in bed and only get up to go to the bathroom. Everything else must be done for me and I cannot leave my room. Granted, there are a lot of productive things I can do while lying down but at only three weeks of being on bed rest, I am already getting antsy. What would you do if your total time out of bed for the day was less than the length of a sitcom?

However, this past Tuesday night, I got a huge treat which I am still smiling about. At 10:45pm my nurse showed up in my room with a wheelchair and told me that it was my turn to get an ultrasound and check up from the doctor. Other than the short ultrasound on my birthday to solely check the sexes of the babies, the last major ultrasound I had was right before I got admitted into the hospital. For three weeks, I had only left my room once and that was to go to around the corner to the operating room for my cerclage procedure. Now I was being whisked off in a wheelchair (not lying down!) to go all the way to the 1st floor where my doctor has his regular office. For weeks now I have been asking visitors to describe to me what the rest of the hallways, the nurses station, and the ever popular nourishment room looks like since I have become such a sheltered little creature.

I made sure that they rolled me slowly because I wanted to take everything in. Who knew that I would be fascinated by looking at a waiting room or being inside of an elevator?!? To add to my rising excitement, was the fact that I would get to see my babies again! It was nice to not have to wait to see my doctor because at my previous ultrasound appointments, he was so busy that sometimes our appointment set for 6:00pm would actually happen at 10:00pm. Luckily we could call in advance to get a better estimate so we were not sitting there for several hours but regardless, there was a lot of waiting involved. Of course, seeing a doctor in high demand is more reassuring than seeing someone who has a very empty appointment book, so it did not bother me too much. At least one perk of hospital bed rest gets me in to see my doctor immediately as well as the twins!

Thankfully everything looked good on the ultrasound so it was time for me to go back up to my room. I was able to convince my nurse to let me visit with one of my bed rest friends in their room before being locked down into my own. It is really amazing how therapeutic it is to talk to someone who is going through exactly what you are. To most people, bed rest looks like a mini vacation but it is a lot harder than it seems and takes a ton of discipline…especially to someone who is a busy body/mover and a shaker type of person (me). What I wouldn’t give to just go outside and run a stupid errand! Again, this is very temporary and for such an amazing reason but hey…I do need to vent every once and awhile. I’m sure most people get tired of lying in bed when they are sick for a couple of days at home, but they get better and then life resumes. For me, my whole life is lying in bed.

*The song “Part of Your World”Β is from the 2008 Broadway musical The Little Mermaid, which of course was also an animated film that originally featured the song. In the show, Ariel is singing about feeling like she is missing out on a better life and wants to become human. I can truly relate to what she is going through because I really “want to be where the people are.” When I was let out of my room for that brief period of time, it was like I grew legs and got to explore the great beyond…I even wanted to grab a fork and start brushing my hair! But seriously, you never have full appreciation for something until it’s gone and I really do miss my old life. Maybe this is all happening for a reason so that I can have an easier transition into becoming a mom for two babies at once which will be a heck of a challenge and also take away many freedoms. I think I should start getting used to losing some independence and freedom because when the babies arrive, they will always come first, not me. I guess I have to stop being shellfish. πŸ™‚


My view to the outside world


3 Responses to ““Part of Your World” – The Little Mermaid”

  1. Joyce Stein January 13, 2012 at 12:42 am #

    I remember when Jeff was released from USC Norris after his surgery for bladder cancer – it was 2 weeks of being hospitalized and he was so excited to see something beyond the window of his hospital room. Trees, hills, the sky, sidewalk, people, – he was happy to see it all. Then in the last quarter of 2003, Jeff had to go back to USC Norris for Chemotherapy treatments and I made sure during his treatment I would gather up his IV bags and his IV pole and wheel him to the student commons for something to eat so he could get out of his room. After his joy of getting out of his room I can image how wonderful it must of felt to get out of your room. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be on bed rest. Stay strong!

  2. Jennifer Brown January 13, 2012 at 6:18 am #

    I agree Jessica! I remember that feeling of wanting to see the outdoors or even just the halls, my doctor visits and ultrasounds were in my room ugh!!! Oh and I had a procedure done in my room too, amniocentesis. That was kind of painful and sucked that I couldn’t at least go to another room to do it.
    Then finally after 2 and a half months in the freakin room, once they did there ultrasound and looked over the amnio results they decided that 2 weeks from then they would do the c-section and the babies would be in the NICU so I finally got to get out of the room in a wheelchair for the first time to get a tour of the NICU. As happy as I was to be in the wheelchair I did not like the visit. It was very hard to see those tiny tiny tiny babies in the little glass boxes they called Giraffes. I cried and cried knowing for sure my babies would be in their and then felt selfish for wanting them to be out so I could be outdoors. But the next day when my doctor visited me I just cried uncontrollably because I just couldn’t take another day in that room I had missed my sick grandmother (who was in a hospice) couldn’t see her that bothered me the most I think because I felt in a hurry to have the babies to see her before her time ended.
    My doctor agreed then with another doctor that I could have 15 minutes out in a wheel chair and that is a picture I posted on facebook. I even got to dress in my own clothes they said, so I had Josh bring me something from home. so now every other day I went outside when Josh came to wheel me out. One day they even let me eat outside, WOAH I felt so privileged. I felt so much better after that. and the next two weeks went fast since I anticipated the surgery and finally meeting the twins! Well two weeks later I met them but in not a good condition I had a very bad allergic reaction to whatever medicine they had running through the IV. It was a blur when they took me to the NICU, the nurse worried about me when I saw them I was pale as a ghost she said and rolled me right away back to my room. I didn’t get but a second to view them in the OR they were rushed to the NICU cause as expected they had trouble breathing on their own. Josh took some pics and the one pic when they showed my daughter to me, not my son cause he was in worse condition. I can send you some pics through your email if you would like πŸ™‚
    Anyway the point is of this story I never wrote any blogs or shared much of my experience which I should have! I love your blogs!
    Oh and my lasts thoughts of these memories just that it was all worth it. Unfortunately my grandmother passed the next day after she was told by my mom that the babies were born. I never got to say bye but I did in my thoughts to her. I felt she was one of the reasons the babies made it to 33 weeks. She was helping me stay strong and wanted to make sure they were born before she left.
    I am so happy that you get to talk to your neighbors! and I hope they can wheel them in again soon! I hope some of this time goes by a little faster for you so that you can get to your most exciting time in your life meeting and holding your new babies!!!

    Jennifer B.

    p.s. I wanted to try to learn knitting while I was on bed rest and never did 😦 but maybe you can!! It would be cool for you to learn that and make something for your babies like a blanket or booties or something πŸ˜‰

  3. Kristen E January 13, 2012 at 10:23 am #

    Ica, you should totally make these into a book! What an inspiration for all, I’m sure especially for Mom’s like you, but also to the rest of us, you are entering the great unknown. Full of bravery, an open mind and heart, and hilarity. I’m so very proud of you!

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